This evening I was conversing with a dear friend of mine and they confessed to me that they have been dealing with severe depression for a while now... This deeply saddened my heart... But more than that, it got me thinking...
   According to dbsaliance.org, approximately 14.6 million adults in America face depression every year... Thats roughly 6.7 percent of U.S. population.
   I was shocked by this statistic. I mean, I know that it affects a lot of people, but I never knew it was THAT many.
   So, this brings up the question; "why aren't we more aware of it in people around us?" I came up with my own answer.
           No one knows how to react to someone who openly admits to being depressed.
   I, myself, have been there. You don't want to tell anyone what's going on because the response you receive can only go one of three ways:
    1: They don't understand, and are super awkward about it. You get the typical, "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that..." They dance around the topic, acting as if they are walking on egg shells and are looking for every possibly excuse to leave the conversation. Once they get away, they avoid talking to you much after that, unless they're forced to. In which case, they keep things at a surface level and basically have the "how are you?" ... "I'm good" ... "that's great" conversation with you... We all know it well.
    2: They get overly upset by it and react completely the opposite of the last example. "Oh my gosh why didn't you tell me sooner?" "Why do you feel that way? You're so talented and beautiful and everyone loves you... blah.. blah.. blah." Or my personal favorite... "Anything that isn't happy is from the devil." ...God created all of the emotions... It's normal to be sad sometimes...
    Now, I'm not saying that being depressed is normal, and sometimes it's from a chemical imbalance in the brain. I'm simply saying, it isn't logical to believe that if you love God, you'll never be sad.
    Back on topic...
This person will then proceed to bother you every waking moment about how you're feeling, why you think you're feeling how you're feeling and listing all of the things that you should try to make you feel better... Usually all of the things they list are things you have already thought of. This reaction makes the person coming out about depression, feel like an injured puppy that needs to be coddled.
  Finally, number three... Throw drugs at it.
So many people just assume that you need to be on medication if you're sad at all. There are many cases where prescription drugs are beneficial, but in many other cases, this would do more damage than good. If you take supplements that you don't need, your body will begin to rely on them, hence MAKING you need them. Not to mention, most anti-depressants cause you to gain weight and have a risk of making you even more depressed. Do not mess with anti-depressants unless you really need to.
    The best way to react to someone telling you that they have been depressed is to offer your assistance and let them know that you care without being too assertive. Obviously, keep an eye on someone who may be potentially suicidal, or is showing signs of being suicidal. It's important to love on people while still making them feel like people.
    in the past, people have used unconventional methods to treat the mentally ill, and in this day and age, we aren't too much better. Let's show our support and not treat others like they're animals simply because they are struggling.
   Stand strong!
  -XOXO- Jess

What Does Marriage Mean?

   As you get older and life goes on, there seems to be one thing on everyone else's mind...
You hear it everywhere you go: "When are you getting married?" or better yet, "When are you going to start a family? It's your duty to the world to have kids, ya know?"
   Well, what if I don't want to have tons of children? What then? Am I some horrible person?!
Sorry. Back on topic.
   So what does "Marriage" really mean? And why do people just assume you're going to marry straight out of high school and start pumping out kids?
   In reality, isn't getting married something you should wait for? I'm not saying anything against people who get married fresh out of high school, trust me. My mom was married at 18 and my sister married at 19. So really, I guess it's less about age and more about making sure that you're sure, that you're sure, that you want to marry the person. I mean, you're spending the rest of your life with them, right??
    We ask ourselves questions like:
        -Will I actually be able to contain my frustration about their annoying habits for the rest of my life?
        -Can I put up with their mother?
        -Does this person love me enough to do whatever it takes to keep me happy?
 Let's just stop right there... It isn't their job to make you happy...
     Marriage is a covenant between two people that means "I will do whatever I can to love you how you deserve to be loved, unconditionally." Now, "unconditionally" literally means "no conditions". so, this doesn't mean, IF you treat ME the way I feel I should be treated, then I'll love and honor you. Too many people don't understand that concept.
     It's so easy to get caught up in what you want/need that you forget your first priority is to love the other person. Unconditionally.
     People are people. Things will never be perfect, and things won't always go the way you think they should. But, as long as you keep the focus on loving them and keeping your bond strong, you should be okay.
     So, here's where choosing the right one comes in... You can't love just anyone more than you should care about yourself. Make sure that this person loves you, too. It's very important. And most importantly make sure you talk to God about it. He'll never let you down! (;
  -XOXO- Jess